Easy Slipper Knitting Patterns Are Great For Beginners

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Choose easy slipper knitting patterns, they are great for a beginner to learn how to knit. The only stitches required are knit and purl. You can use the shorter needles and this will help you to get use to handling them. With short needles you do not have all that extra length to deal with.

Tips for knitting slippers

First: Choose a simple pattern. Slippers are small so you will finish quickly and have a real sense of accomplishment.

Second: Choose shorter needles. You do not need long needles for slippers. The shorter needles are much easier to handle. Sizes 8 through 10 all are good to learn with.

Third: Choose a yarn that is thick or bulky. I like working with thick yarn when I want a quick project.

Forth: Use the smallest size the pattern says if you are using one with size choices. This way you will not be trying to figure out where you are in the pattern. You will always know the stitches are the first set.

When we first begin to knit we all tend to pull our stitches too tight. That is why I suggest the larger short needles and thicker yarn. You do not need worry about size of slipper to begin with.

My first project was a huge beautiful shawl. I messed it up terribly and did not try to knit again for a long time. I felt like a failure. Had I chose a smaller and easier project to start with this would never have happened. Of course I did eventually get back to knitting but I choose a much smaller project this time.

Knitting pattern, slipper

Slippers are a great gift. Perfect for stoking stuffers, for the new mother or your friend at the office. With knit slippers the size dose not have to be exact for a great fit.

Free slipper knitting patterns can be found easily online. I have a few on my site that would be great for a beginner to get started, they are knit flat so this makes it very easy handling. One pattern is knit on needles and the other pattern is knit on a knitting loom. They are basic patterns and there is a chart to help the beginner to see how to knit them.

Do not forget the charities as they can use slippers also. So if your not sure what size you want to make or the color somebody likes use what you have on hand. There will always be somebody that would love to have a pair of snuggly slippers to warm their feet.

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Source by Linda Spangenburg

Valentine's, an Occasion to Express Love – Choose the Ideal Flower Gift and Fasten the Heartstrings

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Although Valentine's Day comes every year but still when it approaches, gift planning tops every lover's list. Whether you are ordering Valentine's Day flowers for your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife or the special people whom you admire, the selection surely has to be appropriate. By the way, who does not want to leave a lasting impression on the recipient's mind? If you do, then choosing the ideal flower gift on this special day needs to be paid a little bit of extra attention.

Valentine's Day flowers not only express your romantic feeling but also show that you care. This special occasion is a time when hearts come closer and relations strengthen. If you are planning to send your lover flowers for the Valentine's Day, it's better to plan in advance.

In most countries globally, Valentine's Day is connected to romantic love and the idea evolved mainly in England in the eighteenth century. Apart from flowers, other popular gifts on this occasion include confectionary, greeting cards, teddy bears and other personalized gifts. The most common notion is that Valentine's Day is especially a day for the lovers; it's not true to the core. You can also send a flower gift to mother, cousin, sister or a friend whom you admire.

If you are a romantic at heart, you will surely know that red roses are the most accepted flowers for expressing passion, worldwide. With changing times, more number of red and pink flowers like carnations, gladiolas and lilies are also accepted as true romance blooms. Modern florists use their artistic skills to create enchanting heart shape bouquets, alluring baskets, love theme fruit arrangements and more, providing an extensive range of gifts for the occasion. Chocolate dipped strawberries and assorted sweets in decorative platters have also become quite popular in recent years.

Roses, lilies, daisies presented in bouquets, baskets, vases or tall arrangements are offered by numerous online florists; do you find them as too many options and too little time to choose? There is no need to panic if you can not decide which flower to select for your special someone. In case you have the slightest idea regarding your lover's taste, half the work is done! If you are totally unaware about her likings, going for flowers which will last longer is a good one to pick. Roses, lilies, carnations or orchids arranged in vases stay fresher for a longer time when maintained under favorable conditions. But if your sweetheart is particularly fond of hearts, gifting her bouquet heart of red or pink roses could be the best choice.

Whatever gifts you may choose this Valentine's Day, do not forget to compliment it with a bunch of pretty flowers in any form; remember nothing expresses depth of the silent notes of your heart, better than flowers. Make the day memorable and win your love!

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Source by Gaurav Bareja

10 Signs a Man is Not Ready to Commit

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Okay, ladies, I know you have these conversations, because I have them all the time with my girlfriends: how do you know a man is ready to commit to you?

We've all heard the conventional wisdom that a man should pursue you, should show an interest in being with you, should take you out and wine and dine you. And, for those of us that are Godly women, we have to add the provisions that he must attend church, be filled with the Holy Spirit, and a whole lot of other conditions that go along with it (be kind to his mother, respectful of His pastor, somewhat familiar with the Bible, etc., etc.).

But, once you get past all these 'qualifications', how do you know when a man is really ready to commit – to you? I am going to look at that question today in the reverse, and give you the 10 signs that say the man with whom you are involved is definitely not ready to commit. They are as follows:

1. He is Noncommittal and Vague About His Feelings

You can never quite get him to admit to the depth (or shallowness) of his feelings for you. You are 'okay' or 'alright' .. He has not made any proclamations about what you mean to him, how important you are to him or what he thinks about you. In the best-case scenario (if your man is not particularly talkative), he shows his feelings, even if he does not tell you about them. He is polite, courteous and responsive to your needs. He cooks for you. He mows the lawn (unasked). Or something along those lines. The worst-case scenario? He does not share any of his feelings with you because he does not have any. The deepest feeling he has for you is the aforementioned 'alright'. And nobody wants to be just 'alright'.

2. He Does not Share His Plans With You

You do not know how he spends his free time. You do not know who his friends are. You do not know what his goals are. Yet he seems to have a whole, entire and active life completely apart from you. This is definitely a bad sign. If you are not a significant part of his current life, you are probably not a significant part of his future plans either. If you are in a new relationship, give it some time. But if you still know very little about him after dating him for several months (or several years), this man is quite happy to keep you right where he has you – on the outside looking in.

3. He Does not Answer the Phone When You Call

Yes, I know we all get busy sometimes. I do not answer my phone at least 30% of the time (I have to work and sleep, you know). But what if he rarely or never picks up? Or he only calls you in response to a message (or several) you've left on his phone or because he sees your number on his caller ID? Bad, bad, bad signs. A man who is interested in you wants to talk to you. No matter what else he has going on – work, family, children or whatever. You should be a priority to him (or at least your phone calls should be). If you are not, you need to re-consider him being a priority in your life.

4. He Has not Introduced You to Anyone (or Introduces You as 'My Friend')

Okay – this is simple. If a man has not introduced you to anybody he knows (and he at least has a mama, a couple of friends, co-workers, or somebody), you are probably not very important to him in his life. Why do I say that? What's one of the first things you do when you meet someone (that you really like)? Introduce him to your friends or invite him to go with you to different functions. Men are not so very different from us – if they love having you around, they will invite you to be where they are. And, in the normal course of those invitations, you will meet people who are in his life. If you have not, then beware. And, closely related to this sign is this one:

5. He Does not Tell Anyone About You

When you talk to him, he may mention conversations he's had with his family or friends. He tells you all about these conversations where he discusses baseball games or the basketball finals he watched on tv, the repair he's having done to his car or how his boss is getting on his nerves. He may even mention to these aforesaid friends and family his weekend plans. But, then you catch on to something – he told them what he was going to do, but not with whom he would be doing those things (namely, you). A simple oversight? An overriding need for privacy? Possibly. But, more than likely, he is not ready for anyone to know of your existence in his life. This could be for a number of reasons, but none of them are good. So, keep up with his mentions of you in his life – it is an important indicator of intent and the seriousness with which he takes your relationship.

6. He Talks About His Future in Terms of 'I'

When he talks about where he's going to live, what job he plans on getting or what school he plans to attend, it's all about him. "I'm" going to move to Florida or "I'm" going to go to the University of Nevada. Or, even when he talks about things that could conceivably involve you, like a future trip, moving from his apartment to his house or even a movie he plans to see, for heaven's sake, still no mention of you. What should this say to you? That he's still thinking of himself in terms of being single. It has not yet occurred to him that the relationship he has with you could become more serious. All those "I's" and lacks of "we's" is his subconscious way of telling you that he does not consider you to be his serious partner.

7. He Does not Take You Out

Sure, he likes spending time with you – but only in the privacy of his home. Or you have limited outings like to the movies (where nobody can see you) or to the deli to pick up a sandwich at the place around the corner from his house. You do not do the 'big' dates like charity functions, birthday parties, family events or the like. This should tell you something: This man is not ready to be serious with you. A man who wants to be with you will spend time with you in a variety of places – both publicly and privately. And even if he's not personally very interested in going to the museum, eating out or seeing a movie, he should at least be willing to give it a shot if it means pleasing you. Beware of a man who limits your activity to one specific type of place.

8. He Only Calls Late (aka Treats You Like a Booty Call)

Right. I know that we are all Christians and we are not engaging in late-night conversations with inappropriate men. But, just in case this applies to you (and you are accepting those late-night calls), just understand that he is not serious about you. If he only calls late, you have to ask yourself: what is he doing between the hours of 8am and 9pm? Why can not he call then? Is he involved with someone else? Is he married or recently separated? Or does he simply see you as a way to get his needs met (whatever they are)? Unless he works a really odd shift, there is no reason that your guy can not call you at a reasonable hour. Do what seems right to you, but know that late night calls do not equal serious intentions.

9. He Does not Share Personal Information

Have you ever asked yourself why you do not know where your guy lives? Or where he works? Or you're not even 100% sure of his last name? Unless you are truly just disinterested (or are not inquisitive enough to ask him), it's probably because he does not want you to know. And why does not he want you to know? He could be hiding something. Or, most likely he does not consider your relationship to be serious enough to share the serious information about his life with you. Do not think so? Try asking him those questions the next time you see him. His answers (or lack thereof) will speak for themselves.

10. He Does not Take an Interest in Your Activities or Your Future Plans

We've already been over the fact that he does not tell you his future plans. But now, to add insult to injury, he does not ask about your plans either. Why is this such a bad thing? Let me ask you something – to what kind of people do you fail to ask questions like these? That's right – acquaintances or people you barely know. You even talk to your boss (who you can not stand) about what you plan to do for the weekend. Yet your guy does not ask? Very suspicious. Suspicious enough for you to rightly think that he simply is not interested in knowing. Or else – he'd ask. And, believe me, no matter what else you think about him, he is perfectly capable of asking something he wants to know. He'd 'ask' about his paycheck if his job stopped paying him. He'd 'ask' about his monthly payments if he got a new car. He can 'ask' you what your future plans are – if he wants to.

So those are 10 good signs that the man with whom you are involved has no intentions of being serious with you. He may be a good guy – fun to hang out with, good to his dog, kind to his mama – but he has not reached the level of being ready to be committed (at least not to you). If it is a new relationship (a year or less), wait a while and see. But if it has been over a year, your best bet is to keep your options open. Do not let the opportunity to be involved with someone who is commitment-minded pass you by while you wait on your guy to get a clue. Again, do what you feel is right for you, but put yourself first. Honor your own needs. And try to be with someone who gives you that same respect. And, as always, pray, pray, pray! God will save you even when you do not want to save yourself! Trust in His guidance and He will always see you through.

And, if you're curious, the next chapter tells you five steps to discovering if your guy is 'the one'.

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Source by Sonya Triggs-Wharton

Trainspotting Analysis

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Trainspotting adapted from Irvine Welsh's novel and made by the Shallow Grave team of writer John Hedge, producer Andrew Macdonald, and director Danny Boyle, giving us characters and moments that are unforgettable. Ewan McGregor plays Renton, an on-and-off heroin addict who can not decide whether to clean up or regress in the company of his loser friends in working-class Edinburgh, and later in London. The film was produced in 1996.

Trainspotting in reality refers to a session of dark linear mark or track that is left in the veins after shooting heroin. The first thing is that heroin users mainline along their arms and inject up and down on the main vein. "Station to station," they call it. For addicts, everything narrows down to that one goal of getting drugs. "Trainspotters" are like that, obsessively taking down the numbers of trains.

The five main actors in this film are all males and with a life threatening drug habit. Trainspotting can be classified under four different types of film genre including: drama, comedy, crime and drug culture. "Trainspotting" is classified as drama since it is a serious story due to the drug habit and several scenes that showed the real lives of junkies, and graphic images of injecting heroin. On the other hand it can be classified as comedy especially when Spud goes to an interview high on speed and other funny moments that are there to lighten up the seriousness of the film. This can be classified as black humour. Surely Trainspotting can also be out under the crime and drug culture genre due to the story in itself and the characters This film gives us a very vivid and real picture of a heroin addict's every day routine.'Choose Life … 'the film's most famous quote means a lot. Those portrayed in Trainspotting are the ones that need to understand choosing life; they are the ones that this phrase was penned for and who are these people living a life less ordinary? They are addicts in Scotland, living lives that are synchronized around getting what they need. For three of them, heroin is their mode of addiction, for another passivity, and for the last aggression. They are a mad quintet, pissing away lives that could maybe amount to something.

In the beginning as we are introduced to our humble narrator Renton (McGregor). We can see that he is on a road to nowhere, stealing CDs from a shop in hopes of making a little cash to pay for the next hit. His home away from home is a drug dealer's apartment (Mother Superior) where he is issued a regular platter of needle, spoon, lighter, and heroin beside his best mates Sick Boy (Miller) and Spud (Bremner). They are as troublesome as he is, though Spud is helpless in his addiction while Sick Boy is just there to compare metaphorical sizes.

Movies about drug addiction are certainly nothing new, but this film makes everything look different, almost like it is the first film to deal with the subject. Trainspotting is brave and frequently hilarious; it's dark, smart and stubborn. It's more than one of the best 'drug movies' ever made; it's arguably the finest film to come out of the UK

Ewan McGregor plays the main character; Mark Renton. He introduces the film Trainspotting with an extremely energetic scene, the former scene accompanied by Iggy Pop's 'Lust for Life', along with Renton's sarcastic narration, which rejects our weak, mechanical existence in favour of the joys of heroin. Iggy pop is Renton's hero. He even has a poster of him in his room. When he goes clubbing, we notice that his heroin habit has been going on for a long time as he does not recognize any of the new songs at the club. Diane makes him notice this, and Renton starts to realize that heroin has taken so much out of his life.

"People associate it with misery, desperation and death, which is not to be ignored. But what they forget is the pleasure of it, otherwise we would not do it" He is undoubtedly appalled by society and the materialistic satisfactions it offers. He later compares heroin: 'imagine the best orgasm you ever had and multiply it by a thousand and you're not even there' However, after a few minutes into the film he decides to quit heroin. The viewers may conclude that it is time to move on in life, yet he could not live life without heroin as we see through out the film his various unsuccessful trials at quitting his habit

Renton has a serious drug habit, and due to his unemployment must sustain is by shoplifting and petty theft. When he was on methadone, he had his 'last hit' and this resulted in an overdose. This simply shows an effort to avoid being compliant. In fact, it is this determined attitude which possibly explains heroin's over Renton. He states, "We'd inject Vitamin C if they made it illegal"

Even though he manages to kicked his heroin addiction and starts a new life in London, his old circle of friends are not easy to get rid of and Renton ends up getting involved in a drug deal, and sells 4 kilos of heroin with his' so -called 'friends. Towards the end of the film, he betrays the others by escaping with the money. This shows the viewers that he decided to 'choose life', be 'just like us' which is a doubtful aim; the qualities of which the film questions the whole time

Renton is dreamy, sharp, troubled, and calm, seemingly all at the same time, and you never know where you are with him, as he never knows where he is with himself. It's an understated portrayal of an essentially rootless character – yet a magnetic one.

Johnny Lee Miller plays the part of Sick Boy who is portrayed as a handsome guy who has the habit of talking nonsense and bombarding his mates with trivia about Sean Connery. He is a womanizing James Bond wannabe, who is highly intelligent. Sick Boy is the one who seems least affected by his heroin habit. In fact, when Renton tries to quit heroin, Sick boy does the same just to spite him In the film Trainspotting Sick boy is the one who trivializes heroin and seems to have no problems with his addiction contrary to the rest of the crew.

"The film only touches on the question of how far his persona is genuine or just social camouflage". Sick Boy's behaviour in the final parts of the film show how the death of his baby has affected him and made him more crime prone. He starts to deal in drugs, pimping and becomes an all round con. Renton states that when Sick Boy's child passed away, something inside Sickboy must have died and never came back.

Later in the film, Renton escapes to London to start a new life, while Sick Boy and the rest of his friends remain in the Scottish capital. When he visits Renton unexpectedly, he immediately sells Renton's television without consent and he also offers to sell Renton's passport. Sickboy is so fixated with his new criminal career that he never even bothers to think about Renton's feelings. "He becomes obsessed with developing useful contacts for that elusive 'big deal', and sticks a finger in any pie on offer" He becomes a manipulative pimp and drug-pusher at every opportunity and would not hesitate about taking advantage and manipulating anyone for the purpose of self-advancement. All through out this ordeal Sick boy remains as vain as always.

Tommy, played by Kevin McKidd, contrasts vividly with the other main characters. He is portrayed as athletic, finding pleasure walking in the countryside, weight lifting and watching football rather than making use of drugs. As the film progresses, there is a drastic change in Tommy, turning him into the worst of the bunch with a "rapid and fatal" descent.

Tommy's relationship with his girlfriend Lizzie does not seem to be progressing well. The strain of finding their homemade porn film missing because Renton "borrowed" is the final straw for Lizzie and breaks off the relationship. When his efforts to patch up his relationship fail, Tommy falls in a depression and resorts to drugs. Sadly enough (black comedy), it is Lizzie, the very person whom Tommy loves that causes his death. With the increased use of heroin, Tommy contacts HIV. His initially clean and tidy apartment becomes filthy. His final tentative to regain Lizzie sees him getting her a kitten, which she refuses. Tommy is found dead due to an infection from the kitten's faeces. This has a social connotation as HIV and AIDS due to heroin abuse was on the increase and booming in 1996.

Clarke considers this character's story helps to create an ethical perspective in this film, giving the audience something to think about. Anyone can fall victim to drug abuse, even youths considered as 'good'. Clark states that Tommy is portrayed as free from drugs on film whereas makes use of amphetamines in Irvine Welsh's novel. This could be credited to the fact that certain individuals would prefer watching the film rather than reading the book thus the message has to be harsher to get across. The same can be said of Tommy's behind-the-scene drug use. As the film proceeds, Tommy's health aggravates thus shocking the audience. In the end, without Lizzie, Tommy "chose not to choose life" but heroin and death.

Begbie considers himself better than any of the rest. This is seen clearly when he lectures his friends after Renton narrowly escapes imprisonment, and trys to appear mature in front of Renton's parents and when he claims that never would he "poison" himself with chemicals. Alcohol can also be considered as a harmful chemical to the body, but Begbie does not see it as such. Begbie takes a commanding attitude when with his friends, for example in the final pub fight scene when he orders Renton to bring him a cigarette or during the hallucination scenes as well as during his stay with Renton in England.

Spud, the "amiable, childlike loser" as described by Clarke, is played by Ewen Bremner. Clarke considers Spud's life as brimming with wrong choices, including his choice of drugs which is considered unsuitable to his weak character. During his six-week relationship with Gail, they never had sex. On the night she wanted to have sex with him, Spud was too drunk to do anything. On awaking in Gail's bed the following morning, he finds the sheets soiled. Spud's bowel contents end up smeared on Gail and her parents whilst eating breakfast.

Clarke compares other scenes from the film. Spud gets incarcerated for shoplifting while Renton emerges practically scot-free. Similarly, Diane sees Spud lying intoxicated under the pavement during the letter scene whilst the others appear lucid. Also, despite various threats, Spud is the only member of the group to be injured by Begbie. Nonetheless, it is inevitable for everyone to love Spud. The audience sympathise with him. Renton wishes he ended in prison instead of his friend. In the end, he leaves money only for Spud because he pities him.

Kelly Macdonald starring as Diane is young but wise beyond her actual years. This is shown especially when she deals with men. At first, Renton sees her at a nightclub rejecting the advances of a man by drinking both drinks and leaving, and secondly when Renton approaches her outside the club and responds to his weak chat with a coldly cruel speech that leaves him completely dejected. However, when she leaves the taxi door open for Renton to go in, it becomes clear that the negative response may have been purely a tool to create sexual power over him.

Later in the film, after a night of passion with Renton in her bedroom, Renton and the audience are amused and disturbed to see Diane changing from her silver dress into her school uniform. The audience understands the position Renton has found himself in. He ought to escape from this situation or else face the consequences since she is underage. However, Diane has once again the power over Renton in this situation because if she tells the police, Renton will face prison. She knows the law and blackmails him to meet her again. Diane also seems to be more knowledgeable about modern culture. In fact she emphasizes that shooting heroin, listening to Iggy Pop and the fact that Renton and the main protagonists are still in Edinburgh are outdated, "Times are changing, music is changing, even drugs are changing".

Establishing sexual power over men is also seen in other women in the film. In a nutshell, Trainspotting's male characters are ready to drop their usual secure façade and jeopardize embarrassment to fulfill their sexuality. The women in Trainspotting seem to be more than happy to coerce. For instance Spud's girlfriend refused to sleep with Spud during their six-week relationship but she later admitted to Lizzy that she wants to sleep with Spud yet she loves watching him suffer. Lizzy is also seen as ridiculing and sexually controlling her men. She would not deny herself from having sex with Tommy since it is her only pleasure she gets from him. However, later in the film, when Thomas could not find the highly intimate private video, Lizzy was ashamed. She was so furious with him that she left him.

Alison, played by Susan Vidler, is a typical drug-craving mother. She is self-centred, completely neglecting her daughter. When the baby is found dead in her cot, Renton narrates that they did not know who father her baby. This furthers the belief that she is quite immature and lacking in morals, having sexual contact with all male members of the group. On discovering her daughter's death, one of her initial reactions is to take heroin.

Mother superior is the group's heroin provider. Although he is seen administering the drug to the friends, he himself is never viewed making use of it. Mother superior can not be considered completely as friend to them because he ultimately wants money for the drugs he provides. However, when Renton overdoses, Mother superior calls for a taxi and provides money for it. This can be interpreted as a friendly gesture but also as helping Renton to avoid getting in trouble. Mother superior knows the different characters of the group. This can indicate that they have all be using drugs for quite a while, thus frequenting Mother superior's place often. During the film, the characters are seen shoplifting to sustain their drug habit. The need to steal might have been initiated by Mother superior demanding hard cash.

The bond Renton has with his friends is just the common goal of shooting the next hit. When he is not on drugs he has to face reality, which is, maintaining relationships, meeting girls and everyday responsibilities. The film portrays what seems to be united group. However, there is a fear of Begbie because of his violence and alcoholic tendencies as well as him being the older of the lot. Sickboy, Renton, Spud and later on in the film Tommy all have a heroin addiction, thus their preferred method to solve problems is taking a hit. Begbie solves his by drinking and fighting. The group share stolen money and tend to shoplift in groups. When they go to the clubs, they party together. Still, in the end Renton calls the rest of the group "so-called friends".

The relationship between Renton and Spud can be thought of the best within the characters. As mentioned before, Renton can not help liking Spud. Renton is seen giving his friend hints before Spud's job interview. Even though it is considered wrong, Renton offers Spud some speed to put him at easy. When both of them are caught shoplifting, Renton wishes he went to prison instead of Spud. In the same scene, he admits feeling lonely, although being surrounded with family and friends. At the end of the film, Renton felt sorry for Spud because he never harmed anyone or said a bad word about his friends. Thus, he left money only to Spud. This relationship is further supported by the fact that Renton asks Spud if they would take the money and go. Renton could have more easily grabbed the bag and left before Spud would have reacted in any way.

Renton has a good relationship with Tommy as well, thinking of him as one of his best friends. Tommy also considers Renton a friend by confiding with him the problems he had with Lizzie. Renton felt sorry for Tommy when he found his HIV positive friend living in a horrible, filthy apartment. He tried to make amends by giving money to Tommy to pay the rent. This relationship is somewhat ironic because Tommy's downfall is caused by Renton when he stole Tommy and Lizzy's video. From the beginning, Renton and Sickboy's relationship does not seem strong. Renton is slightly jealous of Sickboy. This impression is born by the fact that Sickboy can easily overcome heroin just because Renton is trying to quit. Sickboy does not seem to have any problems dating girls in the disco scene whereas Renton did not like the females around him, except for Diane. Towards the end of the film, Renton states that Sickboy would betray him off as well if he thought about it first. Sickboy himself admits the fact.

Spud and Tommy are seen alone talking about sex a highly private issue since they both have a girlfriend. Their girlfriends also seem to be in confidence with each other. They are comfortable sharing problems: Spud – no sex in a six-week relationship; Tommy – forgetting Lizzy's birthday. He had a ticket for Iggy Pop for the same night. When Tommy dies, Spud sings him a song. This little act shows how much Spud cared for Tommy. Begbie's relationship with Renton is slightly contradictory. Begbie trusts Renton enough to confide with him when he went out with a transsexual without knowing at first. However, Begbie threatens Renton on several occasions, his aggressive nature taking over all emotions. Renton pleases Begbie mainly because he fears him. Renton tries not to oppose Begbie because he is "a psycho" At the end of the film Renton states that he did not care that he betrayed Begbie.

The relationship portrayed between Mother superior and Renton can not be termed as a friendship because ultimately Mother Superior's business consists of selling drugs to Renton and the rest of the group. Still their relationship runs deeper than the normal dealer-user relationship. Mother superior could have easily dumped Renton somewhere instead of calling a taxi to take him to hospital. However, some may doubt the gesture as generated due to friendship. The audience could believe that paying for the taxi is a little price to pay when compared to all the trouble Mother superior could get if found with a dead body.

Trainspotting could be described as conveying an anti-drugs message, which is portrayed through "character studies rather than a patronizing preach" This film presents its audience with more than one view of drug Throughout the film, the youth characters are frequently seen cooking heroin and injecting the latter into their bodies (, however it also portrays the pain, agony, melancholy and unhappiness that are derived from this drug addiction. One could say that this film is a warning about the fears and perils of drug addiction, mainly heroin addiction.

Trainspotting's anti-drug message mainly lies within the film's ability to illustrate and tackle the reason as to why young people are attracted to drugs. Furthermore the film's power and success into presenting the audience with the negative results, damage and consequences that derive from this type of addiction convey this anti-drugs message more clearly. The film portrays these negative results and damages constantly throughout the film. The film and its characters enter a world of neglect, dieing babies, AIDS, anxiety, depression, boredom and hopelessness. Moreover the other anti-drugs message that derives from this film "goes beyond causes and consequences in explaining that serious drug abuse is itself beyond cause and consequences: Renton asks," Who needs reasons when you've got heroin? ".

Trainspotting deals with the mid 80's heroin subculture of Edinburgh, "when Pakistani smack had glutted the UK market, becoming, for thousands of ordinary people mired in unemployment, a cheaper means to oblivion than alcohol". It analysis the likelihood of youth subcultures to surpass "their social class contect and form (ing) a class of their own" In this film even "nonravers" are portrayed as drug users, both in a literal sense ( "state-sanctioned chemicals like alcohol or tranquilizers ") and in a metaphorical sense (" TV, videos, computer games, the adrenaline rush of football violence ").

Hebdige (1979: 100) maintains that "style is an intentional communication." Barthes (ND) as cited in Hebdige (1979: 100), differentiates between "subcultural" and "normal styles." The subcultural style collects those insistent mixtures of clothing, music, jargon and so on, and nearly exhibits a corresponding connection to "the more conventional formulae (normal suits, ties, twin sets, etc.)". The clothes that individuals wear are selected within the constraint of preference, taste, cost etc. Such choices embrace a wide range of messages, which are communicated through the delicately assorted distinctions of a number of "interlocking sets" such as status, self-image and class. Subcultural styles distinguish themselves from normal styles as "they are fabricated and they display their own codes," and this is constantly portrayed throughout the film (Hebdige, 1979: 100-101). Through the clothes worn by the characters in the films, they are portraying the message that they do not belong to the "normal culture" but they belong to a class or subculture of their own; "I speak through my clothes" (Eco, 1973 as cited in Hebdige, 1979: 100).

Trainspotting can be described as dark humor, but junkies' world over priced the film heartily. It's a film that is mainly about people that do not want to belong. Trainspotting is not the first film about heroin, but the first one that is a 'slap in our faces are both the grim realities of life at the tip of a needle and a freewheeling, pop-music-fueled glorification of the addicts' smack- happy existence '.

The Trainspotting soundtrack was wildly successful in the international charts after the release of the film itself, in the 1990's. The music score is mainly composed of popular music. Sometimes the film takes the semblance of a music video, with conversation kept at a bare minimum. The scene and the soundtrack are complete and enough for the viewer to understand. This is used several times and for different purposes.

In the first ten minutes of the film, we are transfixed; watching as the anti hero Renton and Spud race through the streets and a voice over begins: "Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television; choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance…. "

This litany goes on and then we get a view of Renton lying in heroin stupor and the voice over ends with:

"But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?"

Accompanying this powerful scene is Iggy Pop's 'Lust for Life'. 'Lust for Life', in which the lyrics, are markedly subordinated to Renton's voice-over after the thumping opening few bars, so much so that the only lyrical fragments that can be heard are the opening line 'Here comes Johnny Yen again .. . 'and the choral refrain (' I gotta lust for life '). Incidentally, Iggy Pop is renowned for his past heroin abuse and is mentioned quite a lot in the film. The two eventually come to signify each other – Mark Renton is the central character of the film, and Iggy Pop is the most prominent artist on the soundtrack album. Iggy Pop's music also lends a sense of rebellion to the film. We can notice Iggy Pop's poster in one of the scenes too

Renton's knowledge of new music is limited and this is seen when they go clubbing. Renton is ill at ease; he has not been out for a long time and is not in touch with the current music scene. This is where we have the inclusion of the songs Born Slippy and 'For what you dream of'. All this shows how Renton has been so wrapped up into his heroin habit that he is totally put of touch. The only song Renton recognizes is a song originally by Blondie called "Atomic '(an 80's song). The shift in emphasis is evident in Trainspotting itself as, although the musical character of the score gradually shifts from the proto-punk of Iggy Pop through to the more recent waves of dance music

Some of the music was recorded purposely for the film. For example Pulp's "Mile End", which accompanies Mark Renton's moving into a London flat. The lyrics of the song describe the state of the flat he moves into:

"It smelt as if someone had died
The living room was full of flies.
The kitchen sink was blocked
The bathroom sink not there at all … "

Another song created by the group Leftfield for the film is ironically called 'The final Hit'. Throughout the film Renton takes many of his so called final hits. It is mainly an instrumental track, with harmonic chords which contrast with a dark, almost overpowering rhythm track. The contrast between harmony and rhythm may represent Mark Renton's mixed feelings at this point in the film – he desperately wants to give up heroin, but the feeling it gives him is too pleasurable.

As a whole the music used in the film is full of irony. For example when Renton is hallucinating that he is disappearing down the 'dirtiest toilet in Scotland', we hear a mellow piece of ambient music by Brian Eno, aptly called Deep Blue Day. The film takes a surreal twist here and we enter a world of soft sounds and images as Renton swims in a blue ocean. This all contrasts harshly with the reality of Renton digging into a filthy toilet to find his heroin suppositories, while he vomits uncontrollably

All of the songs in the soundtrack of Trainspotting have become significant to people who saw it and associate the songs to the film; to heroin. At this time, the term heroin chic was having great impact in the world. Heroin chic was a trend in the 90's that characterized the "thin, sickly look of junkies. Blank expression, waxy complexion, dark circles under the eyes, sunken cheeks, excessive thinness, greasy hair" were seen on runway models showing the 'heroin chic 'look and promoted in popular magazine and fashion circles as' chic'. This fragile, thin, and drug-addicted look was well-liked in the fashion world. In fact, in 1997 it was the basis of the advertising campaign of Calvin Klein. The heroin chic fashion provided debate and anti-drug groups protested. "Fashion designers, models such as Kate Moss and James King, and movies such as Trainspotting were blamed for glamorizing the heroin chic look and lifestyle"

Former US President Bill Clinton condemned the heroin chic look and the 'heroin chic' fashion photography for sending a message that using the drug is 'glamorous' and 'sexy'. He said, "You do not need to glamorize addiction to sell clothes." As he saw it, the glorification of heroin "is not creative. It is destructive. It is not beautiful. It is ugly. And this is not about art. It is about life and death. And glorifying death is not good for any society "Not surprisingly much of the mainstream press and the dailies were horrified by the apparent glorification of heroin use in the film Trainspotting. Junkies were presented as righteous heroes choosing freedom over the tyranny of consumer society. Suddenly all values ​​were inverted as viewers and readers were invited to identify and empathise with low-lifes who would think nothing of spending all day watching telly and shooting heroin. Trainspotting helped a new morbid fascination with the drug heroin by portraying powerful role models in the movie. For years heroin has been very popular in the lives of young celebrities for example River Phoenix (who died of an overdose in 1992).

Trainspotting was a great hit and could be seen of more than advertisement than a film. Even years after the film was released, the film about heroin addiction is was of the best marketed films that portrays cultural images of the heroin subcultures. Trainspotting has received a cult following. The film addresses both the problems of heroin addiction from a user point of view to an anti-drug point of view. Trainspotting manages to shock us, terrify and disgust us one moment and make us laugh the next. Trainspotting does not really have a plot but simply follow the daily lives of this group of junkies

Drugs are the main focus of this film. In the 1990's a new wave of music and drugs started to emerge. Heroin was seen as old-fashioned (Iggy Pop). With the film Trainspotting heroin was given the spotlight. Characters like Sick Boy and Renton became idols for rebellious teenagers who wanted to experiment in drugs, felt disillusioned, unattached from society. Trainspotting became the bible to this new generation of heroin junkies. They had a soundtrack and idols to emulate. On the other hand one could have viewed the film as it is; an ironic and cynical peep hole into the lives of a group of heroin addicts. The tragedy of the film is apparent to the viewer, but than it is up to the individual to interpret it.

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Source by Sue Micallef

How to Use a Self-Esteem Diary

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Keeping a self-esteem diary is a great self-esteem exercise that keeps your self-esteem high every day. You will only spend a couple of minutes every day and you will keep focused on the positive aspects of your life and on what you want.

Get a notebook. I suggest that you write in it at the same time every day so that it becomes a habit for you. I write in the evening before I go to be, but you may choose some other time that works better for you. Write down a few points under each of the following headings:

GOOD
Write down the things that you did today that "proves" that you are a wonderful person. Perhaps you completed some important work, helped a friend, listened patiently to your mother complaining or chose fruit instead of chocolate. Anything that shows that you have a wonderful personality is good. If you want to, you can add a short summary after each point. These summarie should explain what the action you made means about your personality.

For example it can look something like this:

helped my friend with her essay – helpful
finished all my reports in one hour – efficient
solved the sudoku that my brother had given up with – intelligent

By adding these short explanations, you will practise presenting yourself and thinking about yourself in positive words. This is very good self-esteem practise!

THANK YOU
Write down some of the things that you feel grateful for at the moment. It could be that the you found cheap strawberries in the supermarket, that you have amazing friends, that the telephone bill was unusually low, that you feel healthy etc. Writing down what you are grateful for is a good practise for focusing on the positive aspects of your life, and this helps you to develop self-esteem.

WANT
Write down what you want. You can write down either things that you want right now or things that you want in the long-term. Maybe you want a well-paid job, appreciation for helping your friends to clean their flat, improve your Italian, good results in the exam tomorrow or something else. It is good to force yourself to write down what you want because in many cases you may not really know what it is that you want. If you do not know exactly what you want you will probably not get it. Also, even if you figure out what you want one day you need to keep reminding yourself of it. Keeping a self-esteem diary is a handy way of doing this.

Enjoy the self-esteem writing!

Liv Miyagawa – The Self-Esteem Coach.

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Source by Liv Miyagawa

Why You're Still Single

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"Why am I still single?"

This question plagues just about every woman who comes to Dating With Dignity for coaching. Invariably, before coming to me for help, she has asked this same question of her girlfriends, her mother, her best male friend, and even her therapist. More often than not, when a woman comes to me for coaching, she has enjoyed success in so many other areas of her life, but has been unsuccessful at finding and / or keeping a loving relationship; and she is, to put it simply, mystified.

"It does not make sense," she declares. "Why?" she asks again. "Why am I STILL single?"

If you are asking yourself-and your friends, family, and mental health professionals-this question, I can help. The first step is examining the often contradictory and self-defeating beliefs that lie deep in your heart-beliefs you may not have admitted to yourself, let alone anyone else. These beliefs are likely the biggest obstacles standing between you and the relationship you desire. Once you've uncovered these beliefs, you'll be ready to shed the "It does not make sense" mantra and get on with making the changes necessary to find

the relationship of your dreams.

So, Why Are You Still Single?

For starters, it is likely that you have carried the lessons you learned from past relationships and childhood right into today, and this unconscious junk is now hindering your ability to attract the right kind of man-a man who is capable of engaging in a healthy dating process and, ultimately, committing to a relationship. Here are a few of the reasons a typical female client of mine might uncover:

  • Her "limiting beliefs" are so unconscious that she believes they are the truth.
  • She believes she has to protect herself.
  • She does not trust men, and she feels that she has to fight to get what she wants.
  • She needs to be right, and most often she does not even realize that this is affecting nearly all of her conversations and relationships.
  • She carries the weight of the world on her shoulders and is in a constant state of worry.
  • She does not respond. She reacts.

The good news is that, once you've uncovered your own truths, real and lasting change is possible. With a little work, you can adopt an entirely new set of beliefs and attitudes that can help you get the relationship you want and deserve.

Meet Linda. Linda was in her mid-thirties when she came to me. She felt worthless, hopeless, and tired of meaningless hookups. She did not love herself, or even see herself as worthy of dating a man who would treat her like a queen. After working with me in group coaching and doing other relationship-readiness work, Linda is now dating amazing men-the kind of men she used to be afraid to even talk to. She is so confident in her new life that she chose to leave one special man behind in her hometown (something she would never have done in the past) to pursue a dream job opportunity abroad, knowing that it is important for her to create the life she loves now, and confident in her belief that if he is "The One," he will be there when she returns. Linda is happy, relaxed, extremely satisfied with her life, and looking forward to discovering what the future holds.

Meet Sheryl. Sheryl is in her mid-fifties and is soon to be an empty-nester. Sheryl is successful at work and has been divorced for six years. She has never dated much, instead focusing most of her attention on her children and creating an independent life-something she did not have when she was in her unhealthy marriage. Sheryl came to me because she knew that it was finally HER time, but she was terrified that if she entered into a relationship she would lose everything she had worked so hard to create. Through both group coaching classes and private coaching sessions, Sheryl realized that she had been so busy trying to control, create, and manage her life as a single mom that she did not even realize that she was unable to accept love, help, or generosity. She had a heavy heart and was terrified of dating. Through our work together, Sheryl learned to relax, enjoy her life, and receive all sorts of love and attention. She learned to stop working so hard and to instead allow things to unfold. In just a few months, Sheryl was able to accomplish more of the things on her to-do list than she ever had before-and all without stress. She dramatically improved her relationships with her children and embarked on a trip she had long dreamed of taking. She began to know herself, trust her own judgment, and feel deeply. Sheryl now feels that she is truly ready to embark on a new era of her journey that includes dating.

The common lesson in these two stories is this: We are not broken. We do not need to be fixed. The truth is, however, that many of us wear masks-learned default patterns or habits-that help us to feel safe and get by, but also keep us stuck. But we are much more than our bad habits or default tendencies. If you choose to remove the mask, anything is possible. By committing to developing a perfect blend of skills, intention, and action, you can have the life you've dreamed of. What actions will you take today to begin living an authentic life? How will you choose to live a life free from the trap of self-protection? What will you do to ensure that your future is more than just a repeat of your past?

Take time today to choose to live life as the blank canvas it is. You are the artist and director. Be bold, take a risk, and let go. The results will be nothing short of miraculous.

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Source by Marni Battista

Text-Based Games: The Role-Playing Stereotypes

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I found when I was much younger it was quite easy to get involved in games like Dungeons and Dragons where your character has a background that you create and they are as customisable as you want to make them. I also found it extremely easy to get into a roleplaying stereotype.

One day I spent a lot of time going through people's text game backgrounds and histories and found the most common ones to date (remember that not a lot of people stick to a roleplay they originally set for their character.) They are:

Abandoned by Mother / Father

This classic roleplay type plays on the story that they were abandoned by a member of their family. This is not to say that only their mother / father would be the one abandoning, but they are the most common. Father had to go to war and never came back, whilst the mother turned to the streets to feed all the hungry mouths and just one day never returned. This makes perfect roleplay for a typical loner, do-not-trust-anyone character type. If you're okay not having a lot of friends and roleplaying the lone ranger in a text game, it is quite a good choice.

Remember that this character has abandonment issues. They feel like everyone around them in the MUD is setting them up for the ultimate let down. Your character will likely get emotional easy and often overreact to someone being gone for even the shortest period of time.

Betrayed by a Lover / Friend

This roleplay personality comes from any typical Romance novel you have read where the heroine / hero must rise above his mistrust in the opposite sex. Either they had a relationship go sour or they were dropped off in the middle of nowhere with no shoes to walk home on, or they were left to foot a bill they did not have the cash for. Either way, this type is quite an easy role to sit into when roleplaying.

Your character will probably be weary of everyone. in the text game Your character tends to get emotional quickly, but anger is their tool of choice. This is a good character type to pick up if you have played a lot of JRPGs, as this tends to be common.

The Lone Ranger

This roleplay personality delves from all of the old Wild West films. This character is the bad boy in all respects, tends to scoff at the law and generally woos women and / or men quite easily! They give off this aura of naughtiness that most people want to make the attempt to 'tame' them. It's an easy character to pull off in a text game if you do not want to roleplay at someone, but you want people to come to you. This, however, comes with its' own obvious challenges.

Remember that your character often does not ask for things, he tells. Your character will roll into town on either a steed or his own worn out leather boots and pick apart the other people surrounding him in the text game with a quick wit and honest tongue. Most thieves will play this part, because they do not take any nonsense from anyone and could care less about making friends.

The Misunderstood Soft-Hearted Shmuck

This character is often played by a lot of younger kids who come into the text game roleplaying environment a little green. They do not want to step on the toes of any individuals but they do want to try to roleplay something, even if it means they tend to annoy everyone else in the text game more than anything. This character tends to be overly forgiving and not really one with a backbone.

In order to roleplay this character you need to really turn off your trigger switch for angry / happy. You need to generally throw yourself into everyone's conversations without needing context and have the innate ability to answer any question asked even if it is not directed at you.

The best thing to do when roleplaying in a text game is to generally avoid the stereotypes. Try to create your own roleplay and make your character as if he is a living, breathing entity – not a familiar tale borrowed from somewhere else. Perhaps do a T-chart of what his / her likes or dislikes are.

Also remember that your character should always be separate from you so that you can really have fun with events and people. Just because your favourite colour is blue does not mean your character's favourite colour has to be blue. Really work with things that are given to you and be sure to try and remember everything that happens!

Here are a few examples I have of how to create your character while you're playing in the text game!

Keep a journal of everything that happens. This is the easiest way to remember names while you are getting started in the roleplaying world. Did someone give you a necklace? Take note of the name.

Stick with a choice you make. I had a character that hated the colour yellow because it was her sister's favourite colour. She would not accept daffodils as presents and scorned it when a lover or someone attempted to give her yellow-coloured clothing. They had a reason for the hatred and she stuck with it!

Have reasons for why you do things. If someone tells you to do something you feel your character would not do, do not do it – even if you're friends with said person out of character. Why would a priest be friends with a necromancer? Just because you met them once and they helped you out does not mean you'll be best buddies. You need a motivation. If someone raids your city during the day, do not go hunting with them at night! It reflects poorly on your roleplaying abilities.

Refrain from giving out of character reasoning for anything. "Please give my friend back his stuff because he went to the bathroom and left his character logged in." I'm sorry, but you need to be held accountable for your actions and anything you do inside of a roleplaying world is considered in character. Man up to your mistakes and take responsibility. Do not let it happen again.

My advice in the end is to make a character as if they are a real person. Yes, people change but it will take a drastic event to cause someone to go from truly evil to truly good. Always have a reason for why you are doing things with your character, even if you will never tell anyone this reason. Every character needs a motivation! Choose yours and stick with it!

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Source by Alyissa Pickering

Men, Learn How to Attract Women by Becoming a Female Sexual Magnet Through Natural Attraction

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Since the dawn of Man, men have racked their brains to figure out how to make themselves more appealing and desired by women. After all, what of life's many treasures is more fantastic and rewarding than the love of a wonderful woman? Really, there is none. Men should stop racking their brains over this dilemma. Truly, the simplest way to attract women is to just listen to Mother Nature …

That's right, Mother Nature Knows Best.

Here's a simple question: Why do women unconsciously wear shorter skirts when they are ovulating …?

The simple answer: Because they are fertile and want to attract a mate.

Another simple question: Why do men find the 36-24-36 ratio to be the most sexy and attractive …?

The answer is: Because it relays to the man that she will have greater success for reproducing children.

And the list goes on and on … The sad fact is that such simple and natural instinctions are seldom taught in sexology classes. Yet, such simple concepts are the basis of human attraction and sexuality.

The fact is that men and women are attracted to other men and women for a variety of reasons.

One very important factor being the "biological" or "Mother Nature" factor of ensuring the human race survives through reproduction. After all, that is our main biological goal and the only way to ensure IMMORTALITY for ourselves and for the human race.

My best friend in High School was an average sort of person. Nothing extraordinary. Just an average guy like everyone else and me. Nothing to really write home about …

But he had more women after him than I or anyone else could possibly understand. He was not suave, cool, or sophisticated; he did not drive a Porsche, and he was not some sexual Adonis with a Movie-Star face …

He was just like the rest of us, really …

We shall call him, "Robert."

More on him later …

Back to Attractiveness and Mother Nature:

The fact is that many men and women are drawn or attracted to a certain person for reasons that most of us truly do not understand and usually do not care to understand. We do not analyze it too much because these "feelings" are so natural and feel-so-right, that we embrace them openly and warmly.

Why are these attractions so "natural" and pleasant? What are the reasons for how we may feel in these circumstances?

Well, sometimes our attraction could be because a certain person unconsciously reminds us of someone we were close to before. It could be that simple. Or, possibly, there could be even deeper meanings … Did you know that a woman is more likely to be attracted to a man if he wears the same cologne or uses the same soap that her father did when she was growing up .. .? Yes, it's true. If her father was a car mechanic and you want to get her to like you, you'd better start changing your own oil instead of taking your car to a lube shop. When she smells that oil on your body it will trigger unconscious responses of her father. Chances are, her father is her "vision" of what a "real" man is like. And do not forget, too … Olfaction (smell) is the sense that is most closely linked to memory …

Women are not the only ones … Did you know that a man will be more unconsciously attracted to women with the same hair color of the woman that was closest to him (apart from his mother) as an infant? Such as a nurse or baby sitter …

Yes, it's true. Now you might know why you are so crazy about red-heads and never knew why.

Mother Nature is to blame … Well, not really to blame. It's just how we are biological wired. Once one begins to learn the most basic methods of how we act, love, desire, and survive, then it's all really pretty simple.

That's why such attractions FEEL so Natural – Because it is Mother Nature's hands at work!

You might be thinking this is fine and wonderful … But you're probably not too impressed. After all, you've never met the father of the girl you have your heart set on and hardly know what type of shaving cream he uses. Good point, but do not despair. There are many (m) other ways of tapping into these natural instincts. Some are so surprisingly simple; so much so that they will seem almost too far-fetched to believe.

For example: A scientific study was conducted in Spain with women and their sexual attractiveness to men. A series of unknown men were shown to a series of women. The women could see the men but knew nothing about them. There was nothing the women knew about the men except that they could see them, fully clothed.

The women were then asked to make a list of the men that they felt were the most appealing and attractive. The women made up their minds and made out their lists; from the most attractive men to the least attractive.

The scientists then took sperm samples from all of the men.

When the number of sperm and the health of the sperm was calculated; this data was then compared to the list of men that the women felt to be the most attractive …

The results were very surprising:

The women found the men with the highest number of sperm and the healthiest sperm to be the most attractive.

Sound Impossible?

Nope. It's Mother Nature at Work, again.

Women can unconsciously pick up on whether a man has a high or low sperm count because of Mother Nature. Believe it or not. Scientific studies prove so. But why would women be attracted to a man who has such super sperm?

Well, you see, if a man has a higher sperm count, that means that he will be better able to father children …

This means that he is, truly, more of a "MAN."

Yes.

Call it Women's Intuition …

Or chalk another one up for Mother Nature …

And you thought that new Sports Car might help you out with the ladies …

Men, if you are serious about making yourselves more attractive to women then throw out your pheromones, donate your books on fancy pick-up lines to the library, stop watching videos on how to become a "player," and start increasing the health and number of your sperm.

Hey, trust me, any guy can do it and it's easier than spending hours at the gym or screwing your head up with all kinds of theories the dating "experts" are feeding you.

Listen to Mother Nature. She knows best and she knows more than all of the "experts" put together … Guaranteed.

Do you want to get your sperm on the fast-track to health and happiness? One great way of creating super-men sperm is through increasing your dietary intake of zinc. Zinc does wonders for helping create numerous and healthy sperm. Quitting smoking is a big one, too … Smoking knocks the heck out of sperm. Give up the cigarettes. There are many ways of improving the health and number of your sperm. It's really easier than you can imagine.

Anyway, back to my friend, Robert. You know, my old High School buddy we talked about earlier.

Back in the day, he relayed a story to me about his new girlfriend. Apparently, she was really amazed at his seminal output when they had sex. In fact she was so impressed by it that it took him by surprise and he wanted to ask me about it. And so he did. He asked me how much I would usually ejaculate, as if it was nothing out of the ordinary.

I told him, "You know, normal, i guess; like half a teaspoon … Nothing like those guys in the porn films, though, that must be some kind of special effects or something …"

He looked at me with a puzzled expression and said: "Really, I thought all guys were like that, you know, that's how much I usually release. Sometimes I feel like I'm never going to stop!"

Had I really known … No wonder all the women were so interested in him, without even sleeping with him.

Who would have thought …?

To learn more about increasing the intensity and volume of your orgasm and supercharging your sperm, read Iron Man Penis – The Russian System.

Remember – Mother Nature knows best.

Sincerely,

Georg Von Neumann

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Source by Georg Von Neumann

The Martyr Complex – A Need For Validation

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A "Martyr Complex" is a trait most of us seldom recognize in ourselves and are offended when the term is applied to us. This complex describes a behavior that is selfless to the point of consistently denying one's own needs and desires to put others' needs first, or to acquiesce to someone in a situation where both of you desire the same thing. One feels noble and self-sacrificing and in some way, however trivial, conveys this feeling to the recipient of the good deed.

Women in general and mothers more than fathers, tend to suffer from this complex. Mothers, by nature, are givers. They will put their children's needs before their own and this behavior often extends to husbands, parents and friends. For this reason, I shall use the pronoun "she" in this article.

It is kind, generous and nurturing to deny oneself in order to enable the goals of others in certain situations. It is NOT a martyr complex when you are generous with both time and material possessions, but when this type of behaviour is dependent on constant validation and verbalized appreciation it is perceived as a martyr complex by loved ones and friends alike.

Those of us who are labeled with this complex are also extremely sensitive to any type of constructive criticism at any level. If a boss or, (God forbid), co-worker casually remarks on some aspect of our performance or behaviour in the work environment, the martyr can not treat a relatively harmless statement as such and move on. She perceives constructive criticism as a personal attack and allows a feeling of unfairness to gnaw at her until she ultimately seeks the reassurance of others that she has been unjustly criticized. Quite often, as well, she can not rest until the guilty party is made aware, usually with a sarcastic remark or misplaced humor that she has been wounded far more than what is normal. The criticism of a loved one or good friend is almost a mortal blow and festers like an infected wound until we have relentlessly and needlessly made the guilty party aware of how deeply we have been hurt and receive some type of assertion that we are, in fact , still loved and respected. We are usually intelligent, humorous and quick-witted. Our humor is often self-disparaging (another tactic that invokes validation that we are liked by those we seek to please).

It is my opinion that the martyr complex often goes hand in hand with a deeply ingrained need to please others, probably formed in childhood and carried into adulthood. Low self-esteem and self-worth are character traits that have developed over a long period of time and can only be satisfied by constant validation from others that one is worthy of love, admiration and affection. Feeling good about oneself is a direct result of what others think of us. We know this is fundamentally damaging and self-defeating, but no amount of positive reinforcement seems to expunge deep feelings of insecurity and lack of self-worth. It is really unfortunate that those of us branded as martyrs or victims do not know how to change this behaviour. We know how others perceive us because loved ones and close friends will often tell us that we are chronic martyrs when we think we are just being kind and thoughtful. Being kind, thoughtful and generous are lovely character traits admired and respected by others. These traits are not the problem – it is the need for constant validation and appreciation of our kindness, thoughtful deeds and generosity that invokes disdain and mild irritation on the part of others.

With all of the self-help tools available today, one would think that recognizing this martyr complex (and that it negates in most minds whatever good we have done), we would use all of the tools at our disposal to actively work on changing this behavior. We do not like this perception of us and we do not think we deserve it. Unfortunately, our need for acceptance, verbal appreciation and validation are every bit as strong as the natural instinct to be selfless with those we love.

I have no expertise on this matter to speak of. I can only write about what I know of my own nature with its strengths and weaknesses. The next time you roll your eyes in exasperation at a friend or loved one who has done something nice for you and then can not let you forget it (I'm not THAT bad), just remember that below the genuinely kind and loving exterior is a deep-rooted sense of needing to please to prove worthiness of your love, respect and admiration.

For some reason, regardless of how genuine the good deed, with absolutely no expectation of anything in return, there will be moments when the need to be verbally appreciated and validated will surface because that need is inherent in her basic nature.

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Source by Kelly Bashtanyk

Top Six Excuses for Canceling a Date

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Men are good at giving excuses. This is because men are also good at lying. Men know that the best way to tell a lie is to make it swift. They disguise their lies with well-rehearsed excuses.

Most of these excuses are common. Some of the excuses were so bad they were actually given without even an attempt to console my feelings. All of these excuses, however, were received at the last-minute. Timing is everything. Timing is especially important when you are going to lie.

The best lies have to be presented as truth so as to make the liar feel as though their excuse was unavoidable, plausible and, therefore, not their fault. A good excuse is something like a partial lie – with some truth, maybe someone will believe it. Seldom did these men apologize for the inconvenience or disappointment a last-minute change of plans may have caused me. They failed to apologize because, of course, the event was so disastrous that any kind soul would understand and, of course, realize that it was not their fault. They could not help it.

Below is a list of the top six excuses I have received throughout the years whenever a man telephones or now sends an email to cancel plans with me. Catastrophes, I have learned, always occur just before the dinner hour.

Excuse # 6: "My mother called . She's sick. I will not be able to see you tonight because I have to go over to her house to take care of her. I'll call you later."

This excuse came from a man who rarely sees his mother, seldom talks to her and the last I knew, she lived in another state. He never called later either. I have to assume the mother died; otherwise, I am sure he would have called to reschedule.

Excuse # 5: "Hi, it 's me. I will not be able to see you tonight as planned. I have to work."

This excuse is an all-time favorite. Men use it all the time. It is especially useful for men who work in the computer industry and have to rush back to the office to logon their computer to fix a computer problem. Most wives or girlfriends do not know that these same men can now walk into the next room and logon from the home computer to fix the computer problem at the office that will keep them out all night. Almost every man I have known has this excuse stashed in his back pocket. Bosses are always the reason these men have to work late or on the weekends. All men have important jobs that require them to work late or go to the office late at night. They prepare their dates, girlfriends and wives with this excuse early during a relationship – just so they can use it when they need it.

Excuse # 4: "Hi, I 'm sick. I think I'm coming down with something. I do not want to give you whatever it is that I've got, so I will just stay home tonight and go to bed early. "

This is excuse is too common to list, but it is still worth mentioning. I hear it often. The suggestion that he is going to go to bed early is said so that the dinner date, girlfriend, wife or whomever he is speaking with will not bother to telephone later to see how he is feeling and, thus, will not offer to bring any home-cooked soup over to help improve his health. His health is fine. The "sick" feeling is always disastrous, contagious and potentially fatal. The men who use this excuse are accustomed to dating "care-givers" and, therefore, have learned how to preempt any offers of comforting.

Excuse # 3: "Hello, I 'm just calling to tell you that I will not be able to take you out dancing tonight. I need to stay home to mop my kitchen floor."

This excuse was so bad that instead of feeling hurt or rejected, I started to laugh before he finished his story about how dirty his kitchen floor was. Mopping his floor on a Saturday night was urgent and could no longer be postponed. He was just going to have to give-up going to the bar to drink and dance. It was critical that he cancel his previously scheduled date with me so that he could give his kitchen floor his undivided attention. As I listened to what he was saying, I started to laugh. I could not believe he could deliver this excuse with a straight face. Did not he know the importance of giving a good lie? I had known this man for about four dates and one camping trip before the cleanliness of his kitchen floor became more important to him than me.

On this particular Saturday night, we were scheduled to go dancing at a country bar in his town. The telephone rang as I was about to leave the apartment on my way to his place. I was already dressed. I was wearing my best blue jeans and cowboy boots. He always wore a black cowboy hat. He did offer somewhat of an apology, however, as he was careful to explain that he wanted to call before I left the house so that I would not waste a trip. Was not that thoughtful of him? After our conversation ended, I laughed about it all night; thankful that I did not drive to meet him. I decided to take myself to the country bar in my city instead. Besides, I was already dressed for a night out. I was tempted, however, to drive to the bar we had intended to go to just so I could see him there, but did not want to waste a trip or a Saturday night.

Excuse # 2: "Hey sweetie! I am going to need to get a rain check on our meeting this evening. I have issues with my furnace and I need to get it fixed. They are coming between 3-5 pm this afternoon and I am not sure what they are going to have to do to fix it. I am sorry and I would like to try a later date and time if you wish. Hugs. "

This excuse arrived by email four hours before our scheduled meeting. It is always easier to cancel something by email. The email can be short and sweet and to the point without any pretense of sincerity. It is also important to remember when telling a lie that you provide details to make it sound truthful. Notice the time the furnace people will be arriving. The important people who are making someone cancel previously scheduled events are typically mentioned also. Who can argue with furnace people? Furnace people are as important as bosses and, therefore, must be respected. I also am suspicious of this cancellation because I have never known a man who had a problem with his furnace, his house or his car that he did not know exactly what the problem was, how long it would take the expert to fix it and precisely how much the repair would cost. This man never sent another email to follow-up on his rain-check either. Does not he know that rain-checks expire? I can not blame this man too much, however, it was to be our first date and he would have had to drive an hour to meet me and pay for dinner. It is a matter of time and money. The fact that he was advertising on a single's website to meet the love of his life does not out-rank issues with a furnace. One must be practical.

Excuse # 1: "Hey. I 'm going to have to cancel our shopping trip this afternoon and dinner tonight. My mom's dog is sick. I have to go to my mom's house to watch the dog so my parent's can go out to dinner . Yes, I'll be there all afternoon and all night. The dog is really sick. "

This excuse still rates as an all-time favorite for me. This excuse arrived by telephone shortly after I had left his house to go home and change clothes with plans to return for an afternoon of window shopping at the nearby mall, browsing through my new books which I had left at his place to read later while he watched some sports event on television followed by a home-grilled steak with baked potato that he was going to prepare for me.

I had known this man since I was fourteen. He was a former friend of my high school sweetheart who later became my first husband. I had accidentally encountered his roommate while out shopping one day several years following my divorce. Both roommates were ex-friends of my ex-husband. The roommate had arranged a reunion with the three of us by inviting me over to see the old gang. My visits led to me spending quite a few afternoons and some late-night weekends at their apartment watching HBO and playing cribbage. Sometimes, I would sleep on the couch and return home the next morning. We were not a couple, we were not dating, and we were not having sex. We were just hanging-out together. It was somewhat of a post-divorce place to be. But, still? We had plans.

However, since I did know him so well, I just could not let this lie go down unnoticed and certainly not without mentioning it. I told him flat-out that he was a lousy liar and that he better come clean real fast. I also reminded him that he did know me well enough to know that I would catch him in the lie without even trying. Fate works that way for me and he knows it. He still would not confess. So, I asked him to bring me my new books before he went to his mother's house so that I would have them to read during the evening. He agreed.

Later that day, he arrived at my apartment. He knocked on the door. I opened it. I was waiting for him. Sure enough, there he stood wearing his best blue sweater, his tightest blue jeans and wearing enough cologne to make me faint from the first whiff. The sight of him made me break out laughing. I could not believe he was actually going to stand there, at my front door, wearing his best "dress-up" clothes and still tell me he was going to his mother's house to watch her sick dog. I know this man's mother! She and I share the same birth date. We share the same zodiac sign. I have been to his mother's house many times. Now, suddenly, I'm not welcome to go with him while be babysits his mother's dog on a Saturday night. Yea, it was a too good to be true. There he stood, still trying to sell his story. He stuck with his story the entire time he stood outside my door anxious to go to this poor mother's house. He did, however, bring me my books as a consolation prize.

His last-minute cancellation prompted me to call one of my girlfriends to ask if she wanted to go out that night to the local disco where we usually went. After questioning why my plans had changed, she agreed to meet me there later. We set a time.

The gods must have been with me that night. My warning to my friend came true. It was about 10 pm when it happened. I was standing near the dance floor, in my usual spot. I was holding a glass of wine trying to look sophisticated and hoping someone would ask me to dance. I was scanning the crowd trying to see if there might be anyone even thinking about asking me to dance when it happened. I will always remember this moment. As I was looking across the room, watching the crowd on the dance floor, trying to forget that he canceled on me and, worse, was still going to stick with his lame story about his mother's sick dog, I saw him. He was tall, so his head stood above the crowd. He was walking towards me, but had not noticed me. I could not believe it. I almost jumped with joy sensing his reaction when he knew I caught him. He would not even be able to deny the evidence; he was standing right there.

As I watched him walk through the crowd, I quickly nudged my girlfriend so she could see that my story and suspicions were true. Instead of supporting me, however, she said, "Oh, do not make a scene."

Do not make a scene? How could she suggest such a thing? My only problem was trying to decide how big of a scene I was going to make. Did I want to ruin his life, leave him impotent for weeks or just ruin his date with this gorgeous brunette? It was a matter of how much I was going to make a scene, not whether I was going to. She just did not understand. I had history with this man. I had about 10 years of history with this man. He knew me too well not to expect a scene if I should get so lucky as to catch him in a lie when it was only a couple of hours old. I mean, come on, who would pass on a chance like this?

I waited and watched as he maneuvered his way through the crowd. He was following her like a puppy follows his master. He was not leading her through the crowd. It was the other way around. She was leading him from room to room as she checked-out the other men there. It served him right. He was following along like he was on a short leash complete with droll on his chin. She was that pretty; I could see why he was following her. He would have gone anywhere she led. So, I watched and waited.

I estimated him to be ten steps away and, sure enough, he was going to walk right past me and never see me. Oh, this was good. I was mentally preparing for the moment when he saw me standing there. Then, it happened. As he strolled by, I reached my hand out to touch his shoulder just before he passed by me out of reach. He looked back over his shoulder and saw me standing there. His faced dropped; he lost his breath; his knees buckled. He was looking for somewhere to run but knew it was too late to hide. He was caught! That's all I wanted. I just wanted him to know that. Yes, he was caught. And, even better, he was caught at my bar. I was not at his usual hangout, he was at mine and he knew it. It was just as though he had walked into a trap.

Trapped he was. He was trapped by the new woman who was leading him on and trapped by the old friend who knew his secrets. He was trapped. I loved it. I knew he would call the next day . And, he did. His story changed but, in the end, the truth was told. He could not resist her and, besides, I was a friend.

I was a friend and, as a friend, I forgave him. I did not forgive him, however, until after several hours of interrogation while I forced him to admit that he canceled with me because he had a last-minute opportunity for a date with a gorgeous, long-haired brunette. I made him further admit that he did not spend his Saturday night tending to his mother's sick dog. It was a lie. I made him confess. The story does have a happy ending, however. Months later, he met the woman who later became his second wife. They have been married for 30 years.

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Source by Merlene Reynolds